Weekly Humor
| These are taken from REAL resumes and cover letters. | |
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1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience." 2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms." 3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." 4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." 5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." 6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." 7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people." 8. "Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience." 9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time." 10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." 12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved." 13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 14 "I am loyal to my employer....Please respond to my office voice mail." 15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one nothing." 16. "My goal is a meterologist. But with no training I'll try stock brokerage." 17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant." 18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." 19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments." 20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." 21. "Don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." 22. "Marital status: often. Children: various." 23. " Left last job since started at 8:45. I can't work under those conditions." 24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers." 25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten." 26. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me." |
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